High school senior. Trying to be cool and fit in.
On the first day of Senior year Lou'Qwan Sedwick Quincy Jones walked into school feeling on top of the world. Lou' Qwan and his buds had planned to meet up at the usual spot with the latest gear. He walked down the hall anticipating what his friends would think. As he walked down the hall everyone began to whisper and giggle about him. He wondered what all the talk was about. As he finally approached his friends they couldn't believe what he was wearing. Malik one of his friends said "yo what are you wearing? i guess you didn't get the memo". Lou' Qwan knew exactly what was wrong. He was wearing baggy jeans, an over sized shirt and chain. All the guys at school were wearing fitted jeans with v-neck shirts. Lou'Qwan was very embarrassed and knew he didn't fit in. When he came home he knew he had to change is style or else he wouldn't be "in" with the rest of the crew. The next day and its back to school. Lou'Qwan came to school with his fitted jeans and a black v-neck feeling better about himself. When he met up with his friends, Malik said "that's better". After changing to fit in, Lou'Qwan felt cool again. 
Saturday, November 21, 2009
(HW 24) Short Story
Posted by Sammie at 1:25 PM
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14 comments:
Cotto
I loved your characters names real funny. I like how you character walks into school with his baggy shirt and baggy jeans and people make fun of him. He wants to fit in and be cool like everyone else which makes him a character. You could have make it a little longer to show how he changes over time. Nice job!
Hey TOTO,
Lou'Qwan Sedwick Quincy Jones sounds like a dubb lolz. I liked how your character thought that he was cool, and he controlled what was cool. However, in reality his friends and the other people in his school decided what was cool. Lou'Qwan also demonstrated how teenagers will do almost anything to be considered cool.
Good story
-Aja
Sam,
I liked your story, I agree the name of your character is funny. Your story was very straightforward about how this kid wanted to be accepted by his social group but that meant that he had to alter a little bit of himself in order to fit in with them.
i cant believe you actually used the name but overall it was a good story because you basically took a real life scenario and made a story about because i remember when baggy clothes use to be cool but now fitted clothes is what everyone wears.
Sam,
I feel that this is a part of cool that it left out, and is applied to everyone. everyday when people get prepared for school they try to dress the best they can to impress people. your story also show the sad part of being cool because Lou'Qwan did not dress correctly he is not cool. cute story.
-jin
Sam,
your story was good and also because you did a guy instead of a girl. So it made me understand your view on cool and the way even his friends looked at him weird and changed him. Fitting in is definitely one of the main things "cool" is. GOOD JOB!
your Story made me laugh the moment I read the name of the cool kid. in your story the kid did what he had to do to fit in again. I like how he knew what was wrong once he got up to his friends. and the picture was a good thing to add, it showed another way that people try to be cool
Sam,
I agree with all the comments said before the name is long and sort of strange but it was your story and it turned out pretty good. Your story gave us a view on how people change their appearances to make others like them.
I enjoyed the simplicity of your story and how it ended so nicely and simple. Your protaganist is the perfect example of what people think it's like too be cool.
Your story reminded me alot of the scene from "feed" where all the girls went to the bathroom to change their hairstyle because there was a new "it" style.
I like how you start off embarrassing the character instead of telling everyone how cool he is.
Also his name, you know how the cool people usually make up weird words/names, and just say them all the time, i guess that connects with coolness and at the same time is a name where people can make fun of him, i like that, and im mad you actually used it lol.
So you're definition of a cool person is someone who follows the social norms? That's new. Good short story Cotto. It really struck me as wierd how he was embarrassed for missing the 'memo'. I guess our views on cool are different. Its like he strived to be cool but in the end was lying to himself somehow like everyone else who was wearing fitted jeans and v-neck.
-Esther
I like your story alot.I think by showing how cool he wasn't in your story you kinda of expressed how not cool we all our. Theirs a Lou'Qwan in all of us( yes thats what she said) , we all try , try to be something and at the end of the day we all fail.Esipically if thats not who we really our. Made cool isn't about trying but yet just being who ever you our ? Im not sure, anyway great job.
i liked your story sam. this story shows what all teenagers go through as they get older. everybody has their own idea of cool and by reading this story i get the idea you think people feel like they are cool because of what they have on. and then the downside to it is that you shouldnt always wear what others are wearing and that people will make fun of you reguardless what you are wearing.
Dear Sam,
Your story was short but sweet, it gets the true message of looking "cool". Most people included morals and lessons in their stories but in real life that stuff doesn't happen, your story is something that could actually happen. When people are trying to act cool ,they don't usually learn a lesson that shows them being themselves is okay which is what I liked about your story. Thank you for being honest about "cool". I also like all the comics you post on your blogs,their cute and witty. :) Great story can't wait to see more of your work!
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